Teeth

Bianca got her first tooth! Its coming through now!

Everything is happening so fast now! Mummy having problems with following!
I think Bianca should slow down!

I mean... She is sitting, carwling, standing... And now teeth!

I love her so much!

Mummys biggest pride in life! I´m so proud of her!

Early morning

We are already up, me, Jeroen, Bianca and Zelda... Bianca was awake around 4 this morning again, dont know why she started to do that... Probably since she is sleeping in our room while Laura and Theo are here and she hears every move we make and every sound. She is used to a quite room. And Zelda sleeps in the bench in our room aswell and she has not really gotten used to it yet so she can be whiny aswell.

Oh well, shit happens. Bianca had food around 5, and then we putted her to bed half an hour later and she slept another hour and then woke up again with a full diaper.

I am a bit tired... Didnt sleep well, its so warm in our room now but we cant have the window open when we have Bianca in our room.

We hade a nice little grill-evening last night. Lots of good food and talking!

Today Jeroen and Theo are going away, Jeroen is making the exam today. And me, Laura and Bianca will stay home for a nice girly day. We will watch some movie, make nice lunch, facemasks and just hang out. Will be nice! Seems it will be nice weather aswell so maybe we will take a walk aswell, you have to enjoy the few last days of sun now when the fall is coming running! The leaves are already yellow the degrees are already falling to around zero.

Zelda is running around with her ball, when it rolls over the floor some snack will fall out.

She has been very hyper active this morning so we give her something to do :)

She cant really go for a long walk yet, she is only 10 weeks.

I´m starting to get hungry... Maybe we should eat soon.

Probably will come pictures on facebook from our day today :)

Pappa

Det här inlägget tänker jag skriva på svenska... Orkar inte sitta och översätta just nu...

Precis ätit, och är mätt som bara den.

När jag satt och gav Bianca mat så började jag tänka på pappas begravning... Det är 1 år och 11 månader sedan han gick bort.... 1 år och 11 månader sedan han förlorade kampen mot cancern.

Jag saknar honom något så otroligt jämt, och önskar att han kunde finnas med oss i livet.

Jag hade kunnat göra vad som helst... Bara för att få spendera några minuter, timmar, dagar, veckor, år med pappa... Det är inte rättvist...

Jag minns fortfarande när Nenne ringde den där månaden när jag satt och pluggade hemma hos några tjejkompisar. Vi skulle ha tenta den veckan i Skolans historia.

Nenne ringde och sa att jag skulle komma hem direkt. Väl hemma berättade hon att det inte fanns något mer de kunde göra för pappas cancer... Han skulle dö väldigt snart... Det kändes så overkligt liksom... Men även då tänkte man att "han överlever väl ett tag till"... Men så blev det inte... Vi förlorade kontakten med honom mer och mer och under torsdagen var han inte ens kontaktbarn, hans kropp hade börjat stänga ner.

På fredag morgon, tidigt, kommer Anders upp och väcker oss och säger att vi måste komma ner, det är påväg att ta slut.

Min underbara pappas liv höll på att ta slut.

Vi stog där allihopa, hela familjen och såg på när pappa drog sitt sista andetag.

Såg när han drog vidare till andarnas värld (om det finns något sånt). Himlen kanske?

Jag hoppas innerligt att han har det mycket bättre där än det lidande han fick gå igenom här i sin sjukdom. Jag vet att han var lycklig för vad han hade, men jag vet också hur ont han hade. Han sa det inte alltid, men det syntes...

Fan va jag saknar dig pappa!!! Det är så svårt att hålla tårarna tillbaka när jag skriver detta... Men jag vill inte gråta när vi har besök, då ska vi vara glada....

Och jag har varit glad hela dagen, det har varit en riktigt bra dag! Jag har kännt mig lycklig...

Men nu så bara försvann allt...

Jag tänker på allt vi har gjort, alla minnen.

Och det jag först kommer att tänka på är såklart Billhamn! Du bara älskade att vara där, och vi också. Vi kanske uppskattade det lite mer på senare dagar men jag har bara bra minnen därifrån!

High Chaparall, dit du var så glad att vi ville ta med en "gammal gubbe" som du. Klart vi ville! Det var den sista sommaren vi hade med dig... Och vi njöt som bara den där nere! I vilda western, där du hörde hemma ;) Vår alldelles egen Clintan.

Jag tänker på alla dom dagarna du har spenderat bakom huset, med din kaffetermos och bara tittat ut över vattnet och brukä. Det var liksom du...

Jag tänker på alla älgjakter vi har haft tillsammans, och hur många älgar du har skjutit när jag har varit där. Nu när du är borta har det intresset liksom falnat... Det var du som höll intresset brinnande... Nu när du är borta känns det liksom inte roligt längre...

Jag saknar dig pappa, och jag älskar dig gränslöst! Och kommer alltid att göra..

Walking

Her first steps with the wagon she has! Movie is on its way on facebook, i dont know how to explain it to the dutch people... A wagon she can lean on to learn to walk, kind of...

She is so cute and so much is happening! I am so proud of her! Its insane how much love you feel for your children... My heart just rinning over with love for her.

Me and Laura were to Maxi today and bought food and new clothing for Bianca for the winter, see the picture! She is just the cutest thing ever!
I so love the picture!!! My little princess, my daughter. My daughter, mine and Jeroens. Noone elses... We created her, we raise her... Our daughter... You almost get tears in your eyes...

Its amazing that i have such a beautiful, smart, cute daughter!

We are going to grill tonight! And tomorrow Jeroen is going to to his hunting-exam, and i wish him all the luck! I hope he will make it! And i think so since he studied so hard for it!

Laura, me and Bianca are going to do some nice lunch, facemasks and just take it easy! Okay, maybe Bianca wont have a mask but you get the idea ;)

Today has been such a good day! I am so happy!

I watched 2 lectures for school aswell, 1 that was from this week and 1 that i should watch for next week, so i am a little in front.

Oh well, we are soon going to enjoy a really nice dinner!

Ciao!

A while ago

Yes it was a while ago that i wrote here...

Havent really had anything to write that is not already on Facebook...

Life goes on pretty much as normal. Bianca is growing way to fast. She is crawling for real, not only dragging herself with her hands, and she can stand up by herself aswell now, we saw that yesterday!

We have Jeroens sister Laura and her boyfriend Theo here for visit. They stay until thursday. We had some great days! Me and Laura went to Borlänge for some shopping the other day, they have been looking around the woods here, we had lots of good food and drinks, movienights and so on! On monday we are going bowling, and my sister is going to babysit Zelda and Bianca. Oh yeah, Zelda is our dog. We got a dog! A mix between Flatcoated retriever, irish setter and labrador. She is supercute! So now i guess we are the "perfect" family with child and a dog, haha.

Only the Volvo that is missing.

School so far is going good, only had 1 seminar so far but it went alright.

I miss some of my friends, Evelina, Sandra, Rebecca, Emma, Andreas..... Decided with some of them to meet up sometime... Hope it will be soon.

Oh well... Dont really have anything else to write at the moment...

Bianca

Bianca is really crawling now! Movie is on the way on facebook!
She drags herself around with her arms, but i still count that to crawling since she really is getting forward!
I am so proud! She is only 6 months!
And today we are going to the doctor, she is getting a shot. I hope it wont be like last time, then she got a fever in the evening and during the night. Lots of crying that day, and i hope she wont get it this time!
Jeroen is going out with my sister and little-brother today to pick some mushrooms!
So i will go alone to the doctor today, and after that a old friend of mine is coming over!
Havent seen her for ages, and now she has a month old baby aswell!
So we will make a nice pastasallad for lunch!
And we also keep our fringers crossed today for Jeroens little sister Laura!

Home again

We are home again... Both nice and not so nice...

Okay we have been home for a week already but i just haven´t had the energy to write.

I am not going to write about all that we did in Holland, cause its to much! And you can see the pictures on Facebook...

But we went to the zoo, the dolphinarium, biking, fishing, picknick and so on... We had a really nice time! And it was really nice to see everyone again!
And hopefully Laura and Theo are coming here for their holiday in september!
I could really need someone to go to the IKEA with ;)

Since we came home we did some changes here, we have decided that we are going to loose weight now. Like, really finally start to do something about it.

So we are eating better, not using so much fat, and more veggies, drinking more water and milk, doing Zumba every day and we are walking more. So we will see what happens.

For the rest, Bianca has recovered from the long traveling home, but she had pretty cranky days both yesterday and this morning. Dont know whats wrong.

We are waiting for her to wake up now, we are going for a walk.

The sun was shining when we went up, but of course, now its gone :(

The weather has not been that nice since we came home.

Oh well, summer is almost over, so better prepair for what is to come, hehe...

We applied for a daycare place for Bianca the other day to. She hopefully will start in january, so i can go back to school on campus. I dont know if i want to read the next course on distance, but we will see. Nothing is impossible!

Bianca is such a big girl now! 6 months! Time goes so fast, im not following!

And she has done such progress this summer! She is almost crawling, she is sitting up, sitting with us by the table, standing up if you hold her hands...

She is growing so fast! We are going to the doctor this week, and she will get the 6-months shots, and i think they are going to check what she can and cant do :)

Oh well, dont know what to write anymore so we will save that for another time!