No title today

Nah i dont really know what i want with today.
As i said before we had my brother staying over for a few days, i think he is staying until tomorrow. Then Jeroens parents comes here!
Today we have the last seminar with the class for this term! FINALLY!
Then we just have the final exam and then its vaccation! Even if we are struggling with money and stuff i cant help but to look forward to a whole summer with Jeroen and Bianca and NO SCHOOL! And even if we wont be able to do much it still feels like much is going to happen this summer! It will be Biancas first, and she is growing so fast!
I mean she will be 4 months on sunday! It feels like it was yesterday she was in my belly still and didnt want to come out!

Last night we had Sofie over for coffee and some chatting :)
She is going to be Biancas godmother, so she will stand in front in the church with us on sunday. She is really nervous about it.
I am not nervous at all, yet. My aunt was here aswell yesterday with the dress that Bianca will be wearing on sunday. We have to see if it fits today. Bianca was asleep yesterday when Ulla was here. We ALSO picked up the key for the house we rented for sunday afternoon. We will have cake and coffee and stuff after the thing in the church.
I hope the clothes i ordered last week comes before tomorrow.... Else i need to go into town tomorrow to buy something. I hate shopping... At least when it is for clothes... Cause i never find anything and that makes me depressed. I dont think i look that good in anything.
Oh well, we will take that tomorrow.
My sweethearts are still sleeping. I gave Bianca food almost an hour ago and now she is sleeping again.

Allergic

Thats nice, i just wrote alot, and then it all disapeared.... Now i am mad!
As always over nothing, but i had wrote about the past week and all and i am not gonna write it all over again. Its 3.21am and i am awake cause i am allergic.

Eyes are itching and nose is full of crap that i have been blowing out over and over and over! It never ends it seems! I left the bedroom cause i didnt want to wake up the other two.

Well i wrote that i had been talking to Katarina yesterday, and we talked for 1,5 hour! I was surprised when i saw the time! She asked me some questions that gave between 0-3 points, depending on how "bad" my situation was. Dont know how else to explain it. But i had almost 2 in everything so i guess its pretty "bad".

She said that if my score would have been higher, she would have sended me to the doctor right away, but my score was not that high. She was going to talk to a psychologist, that would get back to me to fix a appointment. I said that was skeptical to talking to someone like that. I dont want to have someone that is getting payed to sit there and ask questions and pretend to care.

But i guess i have to give it a try. For everyones best. But most for me, Jeroen and Bianca.

Sometimes i dont get how people can handle my mood to be honest.

On sunday it was mothers day! My first one!
I got breakfast in bed with roses and chocolate from my sweethearts!

They are the best things that happend to me!

And we had my brother staying over for 2 nights now. Dont know how long he is staying. But its always nice when he visits. He has been on Rhodos with Malin for a week but now he is here :)
He makes me in a good mood!

Oh well, Jeroen came up and wondered what the hell i was doing up :P
I better get back to bed!

Warm!

Early up! Gave Bianca food 20 mins ago, but i put her back to bed, its a little early to be up yet...
It seems it will be good weather today aswell! At least it looks like that at the moment.
It´s been SO warm the past days! Almost like you are melting! Oh well i should not complain, i think Bianca likes it! She was outside with Jeroen yesterday afternoon when i was at the tattoo shop with my mum! The tattoo came out great! I am very pleased and i think my dad would have liked it! I´m sure he was there laughing at me about the pain. But it was not that painful, i had worse ;)

Last night we gave Bianca porridge with oats! She REALLY liked it! There is a movie on Facebook, she is a little bird, opens up to get more ;)
We are going to try to give her potatoes/carrots or whatever we wanna try for lunch and we give the porridge in the evening now. The past days she has been sleeping the whole nights without wanting to eat! And we think she really likes it. She barely wants to take the bottle anymore!
But my mum said i was the same, once i got the taste of something else then i didnt want the bottle that much anymore ;)
But she will get the bottle in between lunch and the evening anyway, if she likes it or not. It is a bit to early to give her just food ;)

And in a week Jeroens parents are coming here, or today its 6 days! So looking forward to it and i cant imagen how they feel, they havent seen Bianca live since she was a week old! She has been growing quite alot and she has learnd so much!

Oh by the way! Yesterday when i came home from town, Bianca had bought me roses for mothers day on sunday! And she had bought me ice cream and wrote me a note ^^
Okey i THINK that Jeroen might have helped her abit ;)
But it was so sweet! I love them both with whole my heart!

Out in the sun!

Today has been one of thoose days when you just feel great! Although Bianca has had a little whiny day, but hey, all days cant be good! Me if someone should know that!

But this morning we found her on her back again! She has been turning alot alot alot today and i am so proud over our little princess!
My mum came by this morning to pick up her car that we borrwed the past 2 days. We went to shop at the Maxi and we also took a drive to visit my dad yesterday. Was the first time i took Bianca there, i have been thinking of doing it for ages but it kind of never happend.

But now she has been there aswell! After that we went to buy some icecream and then we went home. Its been such a lovely weather these days!

And this morning we had a seminar, went good. Next week is the last seminar! And then only the final exam and then im done for this term! HOLIDAY! I so cant wait for it, and i so think i deserve it! It really feels like this half of the term went really well! I have passed everything so far!

Tomorrow its friday again and weekend! I´m going to get my tattoos tomorrow together with my mum. Jeroen will stay home with Bianca, i dont think its to funny for her to sit in the tattoo shop for a few hours.
And perhaps on saturday my sister & co comes over for some coffee and cake! If they are not going to Stockholm.

Ah, i can smell the potatoes baking in the kitchen! Jeroen is the best man ever! And the best cook aswell! I am so lucky to have him! And i hope he knows that. I try to let him know.

I know i have been bad at cherishing what i have the past weeks/months, but that is about to change. I have a appointment with the nurse we take Bianca to, and she is going to ask me some questions about the past months since Bianca came and stuff. And we will see where we will go from there. I think she will send me to someone more "professional". I dont really know how i feel about it to be honest. But at least it can only get better and i am doing it so that i can be happy like i use to be, but also since it is the best for Bianca and Jeroen.

Oh well, here comes some pictures from our day out. We spended the whole afternoon outside. Bianca fell asleep straight away after 2,5 hour outside!

We played in the grass, she had food and we went to Peter and Christine and had some coffee and lemonade! Was really nice!

Got it!

Today we finally got Bianca turning on movie! It is on Facebook now and we are so proud!
Last night before sleep she got carrots, and she slept the whole night without needing food! She turned lots of times so Jeroen had to turn her back though.
We found her on her back this morning aswell, she really likes turning!

Turning again!

This morning i woke up from Bianca whining, and i looked up, just the moment she turned from her belly to her back again! I saw it! She really did it!
It´s amazing! I think i will sleep with the camera next to my bed so i can catch it on movie!

I think its easier for her in her bed, its softer then the floor. But she doesn´t really try either when she is laying on the floor, she has so many other things to look at and play with then!

And she is really exploring now, everything goes in her mouth! And yesterday she ate a whole potato! I think she likes it :)

This week we will also try to give her carrot. My sister said that now we have been given her potato for over a week, so now we can try something else!

So we will see what she thinks about carrots!

Today not much is planned. Tomorrow we are going to my mum first, and then at 11 we are going to see the priest and plan some before next sunday! Then everything will be done with.
I am a little proud that i fixed most of it myself! The church, the place for the gathering afterwards, the priest, the food, the invitations (most of them at least).

I hope it will be a good day. Then its summer aswell! Which means that it is 2,5 week left of the term, then i have summer holiday!!!
I so cant wait! Not that we have anything planned for the summer. We dont have to much money and we dont have a car, so we probably wont do much ;)
But ut can be nice to just take it easy aswell!

Proud mama

This morning Bianca turned over from her belly to her back for the first time!

I am so proud of her! Although we didnt see it.... We always put her to bed on her belly, but when we woke up to feed her she was on her back! Our little girl is improving day by day!

I could not be more proud of her! She is only 15 weeks!

Although we have let her lay lots on her belly to train her muscles :)

We will see what she will do next! Hopefully we will see that she turns around :)

I will try to catch it on movie next time she tries!

She is doing so much progress! She has started to look herself in the mirror and laugh and talk to herself, and she is putting things in her mouth to taste everything, she is eating potatoes everyday now and she really likes it, and everytime we are taking a bath she is kicking with her legs like she is swimming!

Like i said, i could not be more proud of her!

Yesterday we took a trip to town, to buy some stuff. We bought 2 frames, a photoalbum, coolingpasta for the computer and lots of food! Some days are just good :)

When we came back to Grycksbo it started to rain like i dont know what... And a few minutes later the sun was shining again, and then it rained again....
Last night was the best night in a long time, we ordered pizza and watched 3 episodes of Alcatraz and just took it easy! I really love nights like that. It was just us, Bianca was asleep :)

And the examination was handed yesterday aswell! Dont know how it went, but it felt pretty good.

If its noot good enough then i will just redo what was wrong. Hopefully all is not wrong ;)

Well, we will see what this day has to offer! I see dark clouds coming in, hopefully there wont be rain, then we can go for a walk! Of course we can go for a walk anyway, but its not as much fun in the rain ;)

Bianca

I loved you from the very start,
You stole my breath, embraced my heart.
Our life together has just begun,
You're part of me my little one.

As mother with child, each day I grew,
My mind was filled with thoughts of you.
I'd daydream of the things we'd share,
Like late-night bottles and teddy bears.
Like first steps and skinned knees,
Like bedtime stories and ABC's.

I thought of things you'd want to know,
Like how birds fly and flowers grow.
I thought of lessons I'd need to share,
Like standing tall and playing fair.

When I first saw your precious face,
I prayed your life be touched with grace.
I thanked the angels from above,
And promised you unending love.

Each night I lay you down to sleep,
I gently kiss your head and cheek.
I count your little fingers and toes;
I memorize your eyes and nose.
I linger at your nursery door,
And each day I love you more.
Through misty eyes, I dim the light,
I whisper "I Love You" every night.

I loved you from the very start,
You stole my breath, embraced my heart.
As mother and child our journey's begun,
My heart's yours forever, my little one.

Examination

I finished my examination today! It´s going to be handed in before friday at 17.00 so it feels really good to be done. Or mostly done. Need to check for spelling mistakes and stuff but all in all its done! I hope it will be approved! School is going so much better now! And i almost find it intresting again ;) My mother was babysitting Bianca from last night, and now she is on her way back here. I just cant study well when she is home. But it has been going pretty well so far! And its getting easier when we have some rutine here and she has sleeping hours during the days and evening :) I am starting to feel a bit happier with my life now and with myself actually. I dont really know why, but i guess i am having some good days at least! And we finally got the thing for the bath tub today! But now my mum is here with Bianca! So nice to have her home again!

Mirror, mirror on the wall

Bianca found herself a new best friend. A mirror! She looks at herself and she is laughing and talking to herself! Its really funny to watch! I have a movie of it on Facebook! For the rest, yesterday and today i have been sick. And Jeroen a bit aswell. I dont have much of a voice at all and i have start to cough aswell... Jeroen aswell. Bianca has not been herself these days either. She has not been eating so much as she use to. Todays has gone better though. I took a bath with her before :) She really really enjoys it! And she is such a good swimmer! She really gets what she has to do with her legs and all! I´m so excited to go on babyswimming soon! Tonight, not much will happen. Will see how Bianca feels. Maybe we will watch a movie or something. Was a while ago i saw the Twilight movies, maybe i should take a marathon? Jeroen made a cake today, a late birthdaycake. It was really nice, but i´m having troubles with my belly so didnt eat much. And we have chicken on the stove, we are having WOK tonight! Surprised? ;) Oh well! Thats it for today!

Flu

I think i have the flu.... My throat has been sore the last few days and this morning i woke up without a voice... I tried to call my mum to congratulate her on her birthday but that was not a long conversation. I doubt that she even heard what i said. Just gave Bianca some food and a new diaper. She has been kind of half sick the past days to. She got her vaccination on thursday and she had fever in the night and last night a little bit i think because she woke up and she was just screaming. If you didnt walk around with her she was not pleased. But i heard its pretty common that they get fever. I just hope that she wont get the flu now that i have it... She became sick when Jeroen had it so lets hope for the best. I guess now our healthy days are over :P If one get sick, the whole family gets it and then and when you get well, the rest of your family is sick and then you get sick again ;) Tomorrow my sister&co comes over for some birthdaycake, or something. Jeroen wanted to try to make one! So we will see how it goes, im sure it will be nice! And she is finally gonna cut Jeroens hair! Its very long now! But she has promised that she would cut his hair for over a month now :P We will see what today has to offer. I think Jeroen was going to town to buy some stuff for his pc. For me, i think i will just stay home today and try to get better... Tonight its speedway on tv! Oh and not to forget F1 around 2 this afternoon and the big race tomorrow. So both me and Jeroen will be stuck in front of the TV a bit today ;) Oh, and Bianca can almost turn around from her belly to her back now. When we have her in the bed with us she is trying very hard! And then she gets mad when things dont work out as she wants it! I dont know where she get that mood from?! (I promise its NOT me)

Happy birthday...

....to me! Or something! Its not like its something special about today just because its my birthday. Here everything is just as normal. Bianca woke up around 3 last night for food, and again around 7. She has been crying, smiling, yelling like always :) So as i said, nothing special :) We had bread in the oven, so we are going to have lunch soon! Filled bread with potatosallad and roastbeef! After that we will take Bianca out for a walk in the woods! Will be nice. And tonight Jeroen is going to make me dinner. But now i am hungry, so i will go and make bread!

Party!

Yes, today we are going to my mum to celebrate early birthdays. Me and Per-Åke is the 8th may and my mum is the 12th may. So we will gather this weekend (mum, Per-Åke, me, Jeroen, Bianca, Anders and Malin) and celebrate a bit :) Probably will be a nice and easy afternoon/evening. Anders, Jeroen and Bianca has the flu so we probably will take it easy :) I think there will be a bbq! With moose meat of course ;) And we will see if we will take a trip to the market in Rättvik this weekend. We will borrow my mums car to get home tonight or tomorrow, depends on how Jeroen feels. And we will also take the chance to go the Maxi when we have my mums car :) Its nice to go shopping all together. Okay, if Bianca screaming the whole tour then its less fun, but you get my point ^^ Bianca his better now, she has lots of crap in her nose still but we give her drops for it so she can breath better. We also got some Alvedon from the store in case she would get fever again. THAT was not fun. She was awake almost all night between wednesday and thursday. Damn i was tired... But what dont you do for her? You feel so helpless when your child is sick and you cant do anything to make it better, just wait. Oh well, but she is better now! She is eating good and sleeping good now. And she is playing and smiling as before! She is such a happy baby! The best baby ever! Well, maybe its time to fix some breakfast! Jeroen is sleeping a bit more since he is not feeling well :/ Laters!