Speedway

Yes! Tonight i am going to watch speedway for the first time this year, i missed the first race 2 weeks ago. Jeroen is to the shop now to buy stuff so we can make homemade pizza! After that, at 19.00 we will make dip and eat chips and watch speedway! I always did that with my dad, so i hope he will be here watching to :) Today we have been shopping in town. First we picked up the photos of my dad, they were really pretty! One is now hanging in the hallway! Really nice! And we gave one to my nephiew. Then we went to the Maxi. Bianca was really whiny, but she was really tired. But she fell asleep a while in the car home. Then we put her to bed when we came home and she is still sleeping. She probably will wake up soon since she hasnt been eating since 12.30... For the rest not much happend today, its been pretty nice weather. We thought we were going for a walk when Bianca woke up but since she is still sleeping we probably wont have the time. Will help Jeroen make pizza bottum now!

Rain

Today it has been raining most of the day... Jeroen went to town this morning with Bianca to hand in some photos of my dad and Bianca. So we can pick up some printed photos on saturday! Exciting! I am really pleased with some of the pictures! I will give one away to my nephiew, two to my brothers and keep some myself. The pictures of Bianca i will give to my mum, my sister, Jeroens family and of course keep some myself! Will be really nice! This morning when Jeroen and Bianca were away i finished my raport for school that is suppose to be handed in 4´th may, so its nice to be done! I sended it to my mum so she could read it and see if its good :) Bianca has been screaming alot the past 3 evenings. She wont be quite unless you walk with her, then after an hour or two she falls asleep in your arms cause she is so tired. I hate to hear her cry and not being able to do something. Yesterday and the night before i walked with her for almost an hour... It feels good that she can be quite when she is with me to, usually she was not. Maybe i am starting to get the hang of this? Well, Jeroen has been with her for a while now so i will go take her a bit, see if she calms down... She is crying so much :( Poor baby... But i guess all babies has their periods. She has never been a noicy baby before so we cant really complain :)

Babysitting

My mum had Bianca there from last night to today around lunch. I thought it would be nice and relaxing but it was not... You could almost make me cry from missing her. It was nice not to have think "Soon she will wake up, i have to prepair food". But that was kind of it. And i felt like a really shity mum. It felt like i just gave her away to have some quite time, which excally what i did, but i didnt think i would feel so terrible about it. I know i do get annoyed by her screaming alot, but having quite time does not really solve that, i figured out. So i dont think i will want babysitting that often. And when they had left yesterday i was thinking "What if something happens?" I mean, what if they would have crashed with the car, that does happen.... I would never forgive myself if i let anything happen to her. She is the best and most important thing that i have. And i love her so much! Its amazing how much love you can feel for someone. And to have someone close to you that really depends on you. Oh well... As i said, no more babysitting yet for a few :) But they were nice with her and my mum said Bianca was very good, she slept kind of straight for 12 hours... They woke her up after 4,5 hour to feed her and then she slept again! And they were visiting my granmother today, i havent seen her in years. But she is invited for Biancas baptism. My grandma had talked to my aunt yesterday about Bianca, and today my mum went there with Bianca. My mum said my grandma was so happy she started to cry. Its kind of cool that we are 4 generations :D Jeroen is making something weird in the kitchen... He is going to have bread in milk, egg and sugar and then frie it in the pan... Never had it before... And to be honest it doesnt sound very tasty! Haha! The last few days i have felt better with my irritation. I try to think why i am annoyed, and most often its nothing worth be annoyed at. But i am so stubborn, so if i am annoyed on something i usually stay annoyed just because... Its stupid... Anyway, will try the weird thing Jeroen is making now! Ok, it was really good! With some powdersugar on it, it tastes really nice!!! I WANT MORE!

Visit

My mum is on her way here now with Per-Åke. They are coming here for dinner.
After they are taking Bianca with them home, so me and Jeroen will have a evening for ourselves. That is nice.

Was at the doctor yesterday, she didnt say much though. She talked for 15 mins about why they had to operate... That was all she said, and she wanted to do a check up, but i said that the nurse did that already, and then she didnt have anything else to say. I asked about why i am annoyed all the time and she said it was normal. All new parents have that. It is never as good as people think to have a kid. Of course its fun and all, but it is lots of work, and your relationship suffers from it. It is important to take some time for yourself and for eachother. So thats kind of it. But how i feel is normal. If i get annoyed i should just go out for a few to get some air, or take a shower or whatever. Bianca wont die from screaming for a few minutes, thats what the doctor said. If i am annoyed it has no use to hold her anyway cause she will only yell more since i am annoyed.

But i have to go now, my mum just came through the door!
I will enjoy this evening to the fullest. Me and Jeroen will rent a movie and have some chips and dip tonight! And we will see what the evening has to offer!

And just have to add a picture that i took of Bianca the other day!
She is SO cute! And i just love that picture!
We are going to the photoshop in town to let them print some pictures that we took!

LAN

This evening Fredrik is coming here!
We will talk some crap and play some computergames!
And ofcourse there wont be a LAN without chips ;)
And Fredrik and Jeroen will have some beer. I will stick to lemonade since i dont like beer :)
Today has been a pretty good day. We took a walk to the shop before, it is nice weather outside though, although its blowing cold! And now in the afternoon we had some rain. But i like rain! I am so longing for the thunderstorms!
Now that i have Jeroen here fulltime i think i can relax a bit more!
I did some reading for school this morning aswell when Bianca was sleeping. And watched a lecture. The nice thing about doing the course on distanse is that you can start watch the lectures and stuff in the weekend already!

And on wednesday i am going to the hospital for a check. This time i think its with the doctor that did the operation when Bianca was born. I think she wants to look at the scar and talk some about the operation or something.
And yes i will talk to her about that maybe i have a depression after Biancas birth.
I can agree to that i am annoyed more now, and it bothers me to. Since there is more argues between me and Jeroen aswell. But we will sort it out!

Kitchen!

This is how it looks in our kitchen now with the new table and the new chairs!
I am very pleased!

Walk in the sun makes you smile!

What did i say before? Now i regret what i wrote before...
I regret that i was so mad... Just came back from a hour walk in the sun with Jenny and our daughters! Wonderful!
Bianca slept the whole time, and now i putted her in her bed and she sleeps some more... She didnt sleep much before so i bet she was tired.

And Jeroen is in Borlänge for his interview, it should start about now!
I really hope it goes well for him! Our life together goes so well now so hopefully it will stay that way!
It would be so great! Then i can really feel calm about read next term on half speed... We will see, we hope for the best!

The plumber was here before to look for our washingmaschine.
Hopefully he can instal it on tuesday! Not that it is a problem to wash dowstairs either but its just better to have one here since some days, like today, we need to change clothes on Bianca 10000 times. And some days there are no washingtimes free.
So i just think its more comfy to have one here!
Now i´m going to take it wasy for a bit, after all, i have weekend now ;)

Btw, we were at the nurs today with Bianca, she now weights 5730 grams and is 60 cm long! She really grows fast! She will be 10 weeks tomorrow! Its unbeliveble that she is only 10 weeks old, and still it feels like she has always been here.
But its the same when my dad passed away, now it feels like he always was gone.
Its weird how the brain works!

Rain

Jeroen is a pain in the ass...
Okey he is not, he is sitting behind me and wanted me to write that.
Today its been raining all day, not to funny.
ALthough we are done with the old aparment, Jeroen handed the keys in today.
So now we dont have to put a foot in there again!
Today Bianca has been puking alot again, i dont know what it is!
But for the rest she is a pretty happy baby! And she is just the sweetest thing in the world!
Last night she was watching TV with Jeroen, and she sits so funny! She wants to sit for herself, but i think she is a bit to small yet ;)

The past week i have been bleeding alot. I thought it was my period at first but it has just got worse, now i have to go to the bathroom every second hour. Luckly i got lots of tampax from Maxi the other day!
Going to the nurse tomorrow, and we will see what she says.
We are also taking Bianca to Catarina on thursday for checking weight and length again! She probably grew quite alot!

For the rest, there wont be any traveling for us. After talking back and forth, we still couldnt agree, so its better to stay home then to go and one of us didnt want to. I wanted to go, i really want a break from everything here at the moment.
I am so jealous at my sister and my brother who can do things. My sister is in USA at the moment and Anders and Malin are going to Rhodos in may. I just want some vaccation... But that seems very far away right now, and if Jeroen gets a job it is even more far away... We will see if we maybe can do something over the summer but i am not counting on it. Jeroen needs to work then (hopefully) and i need to be home with Bianca.
But what the hell, life is life.
Things are going good for us at the moment anyway. Hopefully Jeroens interview on thursday goes well aswell.

For the rest, i have the best family ever.
The best fiancé and the best daughter ever! And i love them more then anything!

Cyprus next?

My little brother want me and Jeroen to go to Cyprus with him and Malin...
but i just dont know... Feels wrong to leave Bianca...
My mum said she wanted to babysit for a week, and that it would be good for me and Jeroen to get away for a bit.
And i can agree to that, it probably would be good for us, but how can we think like that when we have a daughter now? Its not our needs that we need to put first now.
I must admit that i am afraid that she will feel sad or that we are abandoning her.
It would feel like "We leave you at grandmas and go on vaccation for a week - Byebye"
If we cant bring her on vaccation, maybe we shouldnt go?
I mean you dont get a kid and then you go on vaccation? And what if something happend to her or to us? I would never forgive myself...

BUT, at the same time it feels like that if we would want to do something alone we probably should do it now.
Damn, its hard to decide...
I have been dreaming of going far away for so long... And specially with Jeroen. But it kind of never happend. And now we have a baby, and that doesnt make things easier... So what to do? Go, dont go? Go, dont go?

Moving in

Now we are moved in and set! Well... Most of the things are in place now...
I am SO happy! Its so nice to wake up and see the sun shining through the window and hear the birds sing!
And when you look out the window you see the water and my old neighbourhood!
I LOVE IT!
And its much better for Bianca to grow up here!
We have almost all boxes moved away now... I have to admit that Jeroen did most of it. All i do is taking care of the baby kind of... Or not much at all...
But we are almost done with the cleaning in the old apartment. We did the bathroom today and cleaned the fridge and the freezer.
Tomorrow we will go there and finish it, then we dont have to care about it anymore. But its all empty, only the flowers are still there.
I was thinking of ordering some curtains here... What do people think about that? About time i know... But in the old apartment i kind of didnt care... But here i want it to look nice, and here i know we will live for a few years now!
It was so fun when we cleaned in the apartment, cause Bianca fell asleep! She is so cute, its hard to be with mummy and daddy when they are so boring!

We had my mother, Per-Åke, his son, Gluffsen and Stinki over for dinner this afternoon! It was nice! And my mum also lend me her mobile internet! So at least i can be in facebook ;)
We wont have ours until friday or something... That sucks...
But at least we have some here now... So we are not all closed of from the rest of the world!
Oh well... Now i am happy! Really raelly really happy!
Everything is kind of going good now!

Finally

Tonight we will move the last things from our old apartment!
Peter was so nice so he wants to help us tonight already!
So tonight we will sleep in our new apartment!
Since we already moved everything that we can lift with the 2 of us, there is not much left! And now we will be done!
And Jeroen got the money from the swedish course today aswell! He so deserve it!
And we went to Mio today and ordered new kitchen table with 6 chairs! Look really good! Same chairs that my sister have, but in black :)
And we threw the big couch away, since it was way over date! We will keep the little one for now and later on we will buy a new one.
But i dont think we can fit 2 couches in our new livingroom.
But this will be good!
Then its just to unpack everything tomorrow, and go to the old apartment to pick up the last things and clean!
We have shit lots of food that we need to bring aswell!
Bianca has been happy most of the day! She got tired from the shopping though.. Recorded 2 short movies with her that i loaded up on Facebook :)

The suckish part is that we wont have internet :(
We will call Telia and ask if they can connect us earlier.

Feels like our lives finally are going the right way!
I hope the interview Jeroen has next week goes good aswell!
If he could get a job everything would be perfect!

Moving out

Jeroen is away with some boxes and stuff again. We borrowed Rogers bus today already so we started today.
Tomorrow we first will pack the bus again with our old couch, we will throw it away.
One of them. And we will throw the kitchen table away, cause we are going to Mio in Falun to buy a new one, a bigger one. And some new chairs.

Tomorrow i have seminar first between 10-12.
On saturday Peter will help us moving the bed, couch and othar stuff that i cant carry. And Jeroen masured under the sink and it seems the washingmachine will fit there... Yes we will have to have our washing machine in the kitchen...
But it just wont fit in the bathroom we have there... And i do want my own washingmachine, its so nice! Since we have to wash alot now!
When i unpacked some of Jeroens clothes yesterday they smelled Holland....
DAMN i miss Holland!!!!! I so want to go there!!!!!!
Hopefully we have a car in the summer so we can go there!

Feels so unfair that Jeroen has to bring all the heavy stuff over there, and i just sit here. But someone has to be home with Bianca, since she is sleeping.
And for the record, i cant drive the bus!
Oh well... I will give Jeroen a massage when he gets home!
He will take a bath with Bianca tonight aswell! She needs it, she has been puking alot the last days, but today she is better again! We bought a new bottle yesterday, one that was suppose to leave all air out. So maybe it works!
As long as she is happy!
At least she was happy when we were in the apartment yesterday!

Winter again?

I woke up, and this is what i see when i look outside...

Yes, i am awake early... My beloved daughter was awake and wanted food.
She has been awake lots. And she pukes alot!
Almost after every meal now, and its alot coming up. Poor girl...
And she is screaming more too. My mum thought that maybe her teeth is starting to grow, cause she have her hands in her mouth alot two the last days.
Its so annoying now knowing what is wrong with her.
We will ask Catarina when we go there next week.

Today my mum is coming here to help us move some boxes! Finally we can start!
And we talked to Roger yesterday and we can borrow his bus to the weekend!
So by sunday we are out of here!!!

Kärlek

Behöver jag säga mer?
This is love

Packing

Yes, packing, packing and more packing...
Almost everything is packed now. We just have plates and things from the kitchen left, but that is things we are using every day so we cant pack that yet.
And a few pair of clothes we still have unpacked since we need to use them aswell...
But all pictures, movies, baby-things, books... Everything is packed.
And belive me, its ALOT! You never know how much crap you have until you move!
It was the same when we were sorting my dads house out... DAMN! That was lots and lots and lots and lots of crap!
But at the same time its fun, since you find thing you have been looking for, for years. And you find things you even forgot that you had!

My mum is coming over tomorrow morning to help us move boxes! Wohoo!
And hopefully the dude is done with the wallpaper, so he hopefully wont be there...
And then we will start to unpack some stuff!
And in the weekend my brother will help us move the heavy stuff like the couches, the bed and shelves and stuff!
So hopefully we are moved out at the end of the week!
Then we just have to wait for the internet and then we are all set!
And we have to buy new table and chairs for the kitchen... The ones we have are so old and ugly...
Oh well, enough nagging for now!

Weekend

Sorry for bad updating. But internet has been freakin out this weekend...
Yesterday we barely had any at all...
Anyway... Friday afternoon we got the keys to our apartment! Finally!
So now we can move in anytime we want, although our internet wont be working there until the 13th so we cant move until then since i need internet for school that starts again tomorrow... At least the math course is over now. Now i will read swedish. Lets see how that goes, cant be worse then the math anyway.
We will get new wallpaper in the livingroom and in Biancas room aswell! So that is really nice, since the wallpaper in Biancas room was red and ugly!
After we picked the keys up, we picked Emilia up from the daycare and went home.
My mum and her boyfriend came over for dinner aswell.
We had a nice time! They left around 8 in the evening...
Yesterday we didnt do much, mostly sat infront of the pc...
And today i dont think we will do anything special either...
So that was little about our boring weekend ;)

» Dag 17 - Mitt favoritprogram

Måste nog säga Simpsons, Family Guy och Greys Anatomy där tror jag...
När jag var yngre var det såklart animé såsom Sailor Moon (vilken jag gillar fortfarande), dock är den ganska enformig om man tänker efter... Men what the hell...
Sailor Moon går alltid hem hos mig, även om den enformig, det är de flesta barn-serier tycker jag. Typ Pokémon, Digimon och annan animé.
Men Simpsons, det går inte att tröttna på! Jag bara älskar den serien!