Babysitting

My mum had Bianca there from last night to today around lunch. I thought it would be nice and relaxing but it was not... You could almost make me cry from missing her. It was nice not to have think "Soon she will wake up, i have to prepair food". But that was kind of it. And i felt like a really shity mum. It felt like i just gave her away to have some quite time, which excally what i did, but i didnt think i would feel so terrible about it. I know i do get annoyed by her screaming alot, but having quite time does not really solve that, i figured out. So i dont think i will want babysitting that often. And when they had left yesterday i was thinking "What if something happens?" I mean, what if they would have crashed with the car, that does happen.... I would never forgive myself if i let anything happen to her. She is the best and most important thing that i have. And i love her so much! Its amazing how much love you can feel for someone. And to have someone close to you that really depends on you. Oh well... As i said, no more babysitting yet for a few :) But they were nice with her and my mum said Bianca was very good, she slept kind of straight for 12 hours... They woke her up after 4,5 hour to feed her and then she slept again! And they were visiting my granmother today, i havent seen her in years. But she is invited for Biancas baptism. My grandma had talked to my aunt yesterday about Bianca, and today my mum went there with Bianca. My mum said my grandma was so happy she started to cry. Its kind of cool that we are 4 generations :D Jeroen is making something weird in the kitchen... He is going to have bread in milk, egg and sugar and then frie it in the pan... Never had it before... And to be honest it doesnt sound very tasty! Haha! The last few days i have felt better with my irritation. I try to think why i am annoyed, and most often its nothing worth be annoyed at. But i am so stubborn, so if i am annoyed on something i usually stay annoyed just because... Its stupid... Anyway, will try the weird thing Jeroen is making now! Ok, it was really good! With some powdersugar on it, it tastes really nice!!! I WANT MORE!